The single child/precious first born/only child/deceiver of reproduction
Your first born baby is a beautiful, angelic type creature, who makes you want 100 just like them. They just make your heart melt as you watch them sleep, and even if their sleep isn’t that great, you still melt at the sight of them asleep even if you waited 3 hours for that event to occur.
You can take them out in their pram/carrier and they nap, almost similar to an accessory, this ‘one child bubble’ you are encapsulated in is full of wonder and pride. Coffee with the girls and rock your little bundle of joy off to sleep next to you. First born children can make you feel like a wonderful parent and general awesome person.
The second child/popper of said bubble/brings your arse down to reality
The birth of the second child starts to bring you into a real parenting world where you realise you can’t continue to do all the coffee dates and lovely lunches. Also on a behaviour level they are likely to be more ‘spirited’ I had a 7 year age gap between baby 1 & 2 so actually I was able to drag out the ease of 1 child parenting for a fraction longer. Probably a likely reason we chose to try for baby number 3, now THAT is another journey altogether đŸ˜‚
The third or subsequent child/tester of all limits
Now this…. for me was the short and swift land on my arse back to reality. It is with the birth of the third child that you no longer look at that mother pushing a double pushchair, holding a toddler’s hand as he walks happily beside and think “Wow, I bet it would be so lovely to have three children growing up together” and instead think, “Warrior mother, I salute you.” whilst wondering how she appears to have mascara on and looks to be in clean clothing despite having three small humans in tow who also actually look clean and presentable.
Gone are the days of lovingly laying out toys on the (clean) floor and gazing into your baby’s eyes wondering how you created something so beautiful and special. Now you shout
“WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TRYING TO SIT ON YOUR BROTHER’S HEAD”
“WHAT ARE YOU EATING NOW, SPIT IT OUT”
Every evening (and maybe all day depending on your immunity) you look around at the carnage your offspring have left in their path, before tidying it all up and pretending for a while that it might actually stay tidy.
This is before the fighting, farting at each other and general tornado like behaviour. My third child has a damage record consisting of brand new TV, multiple phones, a Nintendo ds and basically anything breakable. He is the reason I use the term ‘spirited’
Ironically, I press publish on this post as I am waiting in hospital for the birth of baby number 4. So there may be an update to this post in a few weeks with a final section that says
Baby number 4 – the end of life as we know it
The Scenic Route to Sanity 